Mystery Fusion
By Brian Randall
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Oh man, this is wierd, even for _ME_. Oh well.

Mystery Fusion #13

Disclaimer: Moved to footer to maintain the element of surprise. Yep, that's right. Surprise. My greatest weapon is -- *whack* Right. On with the fic, then.


In his immense, nearly deserted office, a man stood, facing a window and clenching his white-gloved hands behind his back.

His jacket was immaculate, and his expression was schooled to a very faint frown -- not quite a grimace. His eyes remained hidden behind his nearly rose-tinted glasses, while he stared at the scene before him, seemingly impassive.

Outside, in the Geofront, a battle was raging between the forces of humanity, and... well. That was knowledge best revealed at another time.

A single, lone robot-like... thing... battled against a monstrous angel, the smaller contender dodging around the larger attacker's blows with uncanny ease.

"This," Gendo grated out slowly, watching the battle rage on, "was _not_ part of the plan."

And it had all started so innocently, too...

***

Ritsuko eyed the duty roster, knowing full well the risks of bringing in someone unprepared and unused to the duties that Maya typically fulfilled. But... Maya was ill, far too ill to work, and even though the remaining crew could manage, they wouldn't perform as well.

Risk vs. reward.

Sighing, she set the clipboard with the schedule down, rubbing at a temple wearily. "We're going to have to hire someone to fill in for Maya," she announced, causing the others to wince.

They needed someone who was a fast learner, for one thing... now, where to find someone like that?

***

Gendo resisted the urge to release his control and tremble in rage.

The angel was losing, and the EVAs were sitting on the side-lines, pilots only able to stare in shock at what was transpiring before them. Even the normally impassive Rei was goggling at the spectacle.

It wasn't the fact that the lone combatant was fighting off the angel and winning... it wasn't the fact that the boy had managed to build his own little fighting unit in a garage with spare parts... it wasn't that he was using a bizarre mixture of oxygenated Mountain Dew and Poccari Sweat in lieu of LCL...

It was that it was, quite simply, Not Part of the Plan.

But things had seemed so simple in the beginning... So deceptively innocent.

***

The new boy ogled Ritsuko -- and Misato -- far too much. But it didn't seem to interfere with his duties, and he _was_ a fast learner. Frighteningly so. He had learned everything that Maya had done and then gone to do it better, faster, and with his own unique flair...

And then he had started trying to learn more, and... shockingly enough... actually managed. He pointed out several flaws in the EVAs' design, along with a more than easily done retrofit that would make them more efficient than ever before...

And it would have worked, too. Ritsuko knew, because it was designed to have those flaws... couldn't have anything interfering with the Human Instrumentality Project, after all.

But then... then things grew out of control, with the boy -- more of a man, really, but something about him just made Ritsuko want to scream 'boy' -- confronting Gendo and claiming that he knew a way to achieve the Human Instrumentality Project with a good deal less damage, and no incidental casualties.

After that, Gendo had ordered him detained, shot, executed, and questioned. In that order.

Ritsuko knew better than to challenge that missive, so the security team had rounded up the boy... and he disappeared. Just like that.

All that remained was a note promising that he would return to protect the 'innocent little Children' from Gendo's evil deeds.

***

And he had returned, with a sad, silly looking little robot that looked like it had been assembled largely out of empty soda cans, discarded computer casings, and more than a few bicycle parts. In the end, it looked an awful lot like an EVA, only much smaller, and with cheaper parts.

And it was kicking the angel's butt soundly, while the loudspeaker from the tiny robot blared, "And this is what you get for not even being _real_!" The comment was followed by another succession of strikes from the robot's tiny-looking soda-can crafted arms, and the angel toppled.

Gendo stared, one eye ticking furiously. "I," he stated, "will never hire anyone named after a kami again."

In the far recesses of the room, making himself as invisible as possible, Gendo's assistant quivered in fear.

****

Finally having gotten upset enough, Gendo screamed, "What do you mean they're GONE!?"

Fuyutsuki swallowed nervously, and warbled uncertainly, "The Children all left with Misato to chase after Kintaro, Sir..."

Seething, Gendo cursed, "Damn you Oe Kintaro..."

--------------------

Again, I use obscure anime. Well, anyone who's seen Goldenboy will probably get a kick out of this.

It's hard to come up with the more mainstream stuff, but I'll try. ;)

Disclaimer:

Neon Genesis Evangelion belongs to: Gainax, Project Eva, and ADV Films. Goldenboy belongs to: A.D. Vision (imagine that!)