--//--
A Geobreeders + Yoroiden Samurai Troopers
Crossover
--//--
By Phi
Author's notes: This is a response to a challenge issued by Ebon on the Ronins mailing list.
The fic had to include the following during a trip to the beach with two/three
characters:
1. a bucket of ice cubes
2. a vegetable peeler
3. a shedding cat
4. a broken lamp
5. the line "I swear that's the way it happened!"
This may indeed be the first Geobreeders fanfiction out there. I don't know
why; the series is incredibly fun to write. Oh, and I must warn you: if you
don't know the series, you'll be a... bit lost. *winks* Taba is Yoichi's last
name, by the by. It's what everybody calls him, so why should I be different?
=)
And no, the file number has no significance. This is my first and
rather poor attempt at humor. Some swearing. I suck at action scenes. Proceed at
own risk.
Usual disclaimers apply.
--//--
File-39: Bikini Kitty
--//--
Nasutei smiled as she listened to the steady thrumming her rollerblades were
making on the boardwalk that ran alongside the beach. Softly swinging the
shopping bag that hung from her left hand, she deftly wove in and out of the
crowds, enjoying the warm breeze on her face and the sun on her back. As she
looked out on the sparkling expanse of water and reveled in the perfect weather,
she could almost -- almost -- forget what she was doing out there to
begin with.
Sometimes, she wondered why she invited them all at the same time. Really
wondered.
Was she really such a sucker for punishment? She closed her eyes briefly
(she was, after all, still skating) and allowed a small sigh to escape her lips.
She had thought she had missed them, but she supposed that happened after
several months of being apart. It gave her enough time to forget how much
trouble they could cause her -- and her poor house.
Her house. Her poor, defenseless house. It had never harmed anyone. Really.
Okay. Nasutei tried to go over everything in her head that had led up
to her rather unexpected trip to the beach. It was five months since we were
all last together. I missed them -- Lord knows why -- and thus I invited
them for a weekend stay. And they came. And they wrecked my house. And... and...
they're still there. She fought a sudden urge to sniffle. Why, why, why?
WHY? WHY do I let them do this to me?
They all had been, of course, extremely apologetic.
She just didn't understand how grown men could still be that
immature. Or stupid. Whichever worked. See, it was like this.... All five of
them had arrived at her lakeside house at approximately ten o'clock that
morning, and things had proceeded well from there. Nasutei had thought that it
was going to be a nice little gathering, free from the usual mishaps and
misfortunes and property damage that usually resulted from proximity to the
Troopers. Showed how much she knew.
Noon. Disaster struck.
Well, better to start from the beginning. Well... it wasn't the exact
beginning, but pretty darn close enough, so it could have seemed like the
beginning with- out actually being the true beginning. Except, if it wasn't the
real beginning, why would you bother to call it the beginning if it wasn't? And
wasn't the beginning when they had all arrived at her house, and hadn't she
already gone over that? So then she wouldn't have to start at the beginning,
because she had already done that. But that wasn't really the beginning -- it
was more like background information that you need to have before hearing the
actual story. And wouldn't the beginning have been when she thought up the idea
of inviting them all in the first place....
Whatever.
Shin had requested that he be allowed to make everyone a special picnic
dinner for that night. No, scratch that -- he had quite forcibly insisted. And
had done so with a dangerous little glint in his eye that made you wonder if you
were developing a sweatdrop on the back of your head. It was strange, how he
could do that. Anyway, in the process of preparing said special dinner, he sort
of took over the kitchen and surrounding areas... which did not make Shu and
Touma happy. At all.
So somehow -- Nasutei was a bit fuzzy on the details -- those two had
managed to sneak into the kitchen behind Shin's back and do something bad enough
to upset him into chasing them around the house, brandishing a vegetable peeler
(which, incidentally, still had a bit of potato skin hanging from it). She had
watched the chase with a somewhat bemused expression and reflected on how this
really was like "old times," until... Touma looked back to see Shin hot on his
heels... and tripped over Shu's foot... and fell... headlong... into...
The lamp. And not just any lamp. It was the lamp -- the lamp her
Grandfather had given to her on her thirteenth birthday, the cute little Mickey
Mouse lamp with a clock on his belly whose alarm could be set to play that
darling little "It's A Small World After All" tune. She loved that lamp.
She treasured that lamp. She would kill for that lamp.
And now it was smashed into little itsy-bitsy pieces of Mousey-ness over her
living room floor.
But then she uncovered her eyes, and found that that last part was purely
her imagination. (It was probably a good thing, too, since Touma had been
nervously edging towards the front door, ready to bolt at a second's notice.)
No, it was mostly intact -- thanks to the plush carpet she had installed during
the house's latest... remodling -- save for a broken bulb.
Would you believe she was completely out of bulbs? Well, neither did she,
until an hour-long search proved her wrong. And by that time, she was thoroughly
ticked. Without saying a word, she had strapped on her rollerblades and
found herself cruising down the sunlight, crowded boardwalk. (Completely taking
out the time, of course, to get to the beach in the first place.) She had found
herself in one of those wierd little tourist shops that don't even sell anything
a tourist would remotely need -- unless they were tourons, which was a
completely different matter -- and bought about a dozen red lightbulbs. She
thought they would go nicely with Mickey's adorable little painted red pants.
And so, Nasutei continued to skate, slowly letting off steam and trying to
enjoy the bright world around her.
--//--
Taba Yoichi sighed in relief as he let himself relax against the sun-warmed
blanket spread over the sand. His day off. No cats, no spaz presidents, no
gun-nut psychos, no narcolyptic "professional" drivers, no anything. His
day off. He said the words aloud, savoring the taste of them in his mouth. He
had never spoken sweeter words. "My day off. My day off." He had been waiting
months for this. No one was going to take it away from him.
He rumaged around in the bucket of half-melted ice next to him and pulled
out a nice, cool cylindrical can. Popping the tab and holding the drink to his
lips, he shivered a little at the cold sweetness it left as it poured down his
throat. He frowned a little as he set the can back down, muttering to himself.
"Where did that cooler go? I could've sworn I saw it just the other day...."
An explosion.
Nope, he didn't hear it. No how, no way. Nothing doin'.
Another. And another.
He started humming to himself, trying desperately to tune out the shouts of
the people who ran past his blanket. Nope nope, can't hear a thing. Gone deaf.
It was getting harder to drown out the noise, now that the whole beach was
on the move -- running around him, over him, on him. Finally, when he
couldn't stand being trampled any further, he lept to his feet and yelled, "What
the HELL is going on here?!?"
Turning on his heels, he had no problem finding the source of confusion. A
ways down, a store on the boardwalk had exploded unexpectedly; the flames were
quickly starting to spread to the neighboring stores. Before he knew it, Taba
found himself running towards the nearly destroyed shop.
He could have sworn... he thought he had seen... please, if there was truly
a god, let this just be a trick of his imagination. He couldn't have seen one.
It was his day off, for Pete's sake.
But no, luck was not with him today. He had indeed seen it. Taba stammered a
little, still trying to convince himself that his eyes were playing tricks on
him. "Ba... Bake-Neko?!?"
--//--
Her head swam unpleasantly as she slowly tried to sit up and open her eyes.
Wait... sit up? What had happened? After she had managed to crack one eye open,
she gasped openly at the site that greeted her.
The shop she had been skating by was completely consumed by flames. And in
front of it was a very smug-looking, very fluffy... cat?
She must have hit her head harder than she had thought.
Wincing a bit as she gingerly touched her head, she quickly ran through the
possibilites. Arson? Maybe, but who would want to hurt... she glanced towards
the half-burned sign at the top... Okaachan and Otouchan's Sushi Bar? Well then,
what else could it be? She gasped once again as a sudden, terrifying thought
came to her.
"Youjakai?"
--//--
They noticed each other at exactly the same moment, which was only natural,
seeing as how they were standing (well, one was standing and the other was sort
of half-lying, half-sitting) right next to each other. "What did you say?" they
chorused, shocked that the other could have a possible explanation for all this.
"What--" they began again, and then paused, embarassed. "How did--" They
couldn't seem to get out of synch. Finally, Taba resolved to get in first,
before they could start doing that weird two-as-one deal again.
"Excuse me, miss, but I think you might want to get out of here."
"Oh?" Nasutei raised an eyebrow eloquently. She discreetly looked him over
with a critical eye; he seemed average enough, with his short brown hair, brown
eyes, and medium build. What could he possibly do about demon generals and
soul-stealing spirits?
Taba sighed, seeing the incredulity in her eyes. "That cat is very
dangerous," he tried to explain. "It was the one who caused the explosions." He
couldn't risk telling her anything further, since the general populace was not
exactly supposed to know of the Bake-Neko's existance. It was getting
really hard to keep them a secret, though.
Nasutei tried very hard not to let her surprise show. A... cat... did all
this? The Youjakai was sending cats to blow up buildings?
She gratefully took Taba's hand when he offered it and managed quite an
ungraceful rise. She blushed slightly as the hand contact lasted a few heart-
beats longer than necessary, and smoothed her shorts self-consciously when he
let go.
By this time, the Bake-Neko had stopped its arrogant preening and was
looking at the two people in front of it -- now the only people anywhere in the
vacinity -- with malicious curiousity. It shook, as cats are wont to do, sending
little puffs of fluff into the air. Nasutei's eyes watered just watching it.
Suddenly, recognition flared in its slit eyes as it stared at the male in the
pair, and a low growl escaped its feline throat.
"Kagura...."
Taba and Nasutei turned simultaneously when they heard a slight crackling in
the air, as if electricity was passing from one of those static globes to
another. Nasutei's jaw dropped as she watched the cat in front of her elongate,
its limbs stretching in grotesque, stomach-churning ways, to form the body of
a... human girl? She only faintly heard Taba's muttered "Damn."
The former cat was now a girl, approximately a little younger-looking than
she, dressed in nothing but a bikini. An itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny, yellow
polka-dot bikini. It left nothing to the imagination. Openly gaping, Nasutei
turned to look at the man beside her, expecting to see some sort of lecherous or
other perverted look on his face -- but was surprised to only find panic.
Just what in the world was going on here?
--//--
"Kagura..." the girl grinned in a very unfriendly way. It seemed to
be the only word she could say.
Taba's swear was less intelligible this time, as he abruptly turned and
dragged Nasutei along with him. She could tell he was muttering something, but
could only make out bits and pieces. "...damn cat...day off...gonna quit...my
day off..." They ran on and on down the boardwalk as he continued to mutter. It
was harder to hear this time, but she thought she heard the words "seals" and
"laptop."
"Umm... excuse me??" The last came off a bit more of a wail than Nasutei had
meant it to be, but it succeeded in getting the man's attention. They were off
the boardwalk now and onto the beach, and she was finding it extremely difficult
to run on sand with rollerblades.
"Sorry about all this!" He shouted over his shoulder, never letting his eyes
leave the ever-nearing blanket in front of them. "I'm Taba Yoichi. I work -- but
I'm going to quit soon -- for Kagura Security, a company set up to destroy the
Bake-Neko." He paused when the two of them reached the blanket, and let go of
Nasutei's arm. She sighed gratefully and plopped down on the sand, rubbing her
arm absently. It hurt. And her lungs hurt. And her legs. She didn't think
she could run anymore, let alone stand up. She was just about to reach down to
take off her blades and massage her aching feet, when Taba grabbed her arm again
and hauled her painfully to her feet. "No time!" Nasutei let a small cry of
protest escape her lips, but was quickly silenced when he motioned to the girl,
who was rapidly gaining on them.
She blinked. Had they really run that fast, to get that much of a head
start?
Before she could really understand what was happening, she was being dragged
along the sand again. Trying to ignore how leaden her legs felt, she focused in
on what he had said earlier. One thing didn't seem to click. Bringing her lips
as close to his ear as possible, she shouted, "Bake-Neko?"
He winced slightly -- serves him right, she thought with satisfaction -- and
yelled back, "Phantom cats!" After glancing back to see her uncomprehending
look, he elaborated. "They can travel through electronic equipment, like phones
and computers. They have a tendency to blow things up."
Nasutei nodded. She sure knew what that was like.
She was surprised when she felt the steady thrumming of her rollerblades and
realized that somehow they had gotten back on the boardwalk. Forcing her aching
legs to pump, she struggled to keep pace with Taba, who was going at a
surprising pace for an ordinary human. She guessed he did this a lot.
She let out a small "Eep!" when Taba suddenly pulled her into a small, empty
shop and stuffed her behind the counter. Wasting no time, he unfolded the
rectangular box Nasutei belatedly realized that he was carrying and started to
type furiously. Ah, this must be the laptop.
"I'm Yagyu Nasutei." Well, someone had to say something. He glanced
at her, looking a little embarrased, and continued to type.
"I'm sorry to involve you in this, Miss Yagyu, but I can't really let you
leave. The Bake-Neko knows what you look like, so we have to destroy it before
it can get back to the others," Taba mumbled absently, his eyes glued to the
small computer screen. He sighed, and looked up at her, looking a bit worse for
wear. "See these?" He held up four little slips of paper with a strange insignia
at the top -- a circle circumscribed about a triangle -- and something that
looked like a plug socket at the bottom.
What in the...?
She nodded, a bit reluctant and extremely confused. How were four pieces of
paper and a battered laptop going to stop a shape-shifting cat? "These are
seals," he continued. "We need to delete the Bake-Neko using these." Delete?
Were... were the Bake-Neko some kind of computer virus or something? He had said
that they could travel through electronic equipment.... "They have a limited
radius, so we need to use this place's walls to hang them. In order to be
deleted, the Bake-Neko have to be surrounded by the seals." He was speaking
hurriedly now, nervous sweat beginning to shine on his face. No matter how many
times he's done this now, it always made him edgy. Those cats were scary.
A sudden crash in the front of the store and a growled "Kagura!" warned them
that their chaser had -- finally -- found them. Pushing the seals into Nasutei's
sweaty palm, Taba whispered, "I'll distract her." She nodded firmly and waited
until he had jumped onto the top of the counter to move. "Oi, Bake-Neko!" He
sweatdropped as he waved his arms frantically, trying to get the cat-girl's
attention. Unfortunately for him, it worked.
She lunged for him, a feral smile on her lips. Taba panicked. Dammit,
where's that crossbow when you need it?!?
--//--
Nasutei's heart was pounding so hard she was afraid it was going to rupture.
Oh, God... the fear, the adreneline, the rush... she loved it! She didn't
think she had ever had this much fun in her entire life. She almost wanted the
cat to notice her, to start to chase her. God, she was having a blast.
Poor Taba, though. He didn't look like he was having fun at all. She frowned
a little, trying to imagine why. Oh well, she shrugged. To each his
own, I guess. She grinned suddenly as she successfully placed the first seal
on the wall.
One!
Skating swiftly and silently, she managed to place the next two slips
without being discovered.
Two!
Three!
Feeling a little disappointed at this anti-climax, she paused in hanging the
fourth seal when she heard Taba's scream, followed by an abrupt crashing noise.
She looked around in curiousity, only to see the man running for his life down
the boardwalk, the Bake-Neko close on his heels. Eh? Why was he running away?
The seals were over here....
Quickly slapping the fourth seal on the side of the counter and shouting a
jubilant "Four!" in her head, Nasutei skated out the now-destroyed shop front.
Maybe she could do something to help that poor man.
--//--
Tears were streaming from his eyes as he ran. And ran. And ran.
His curses under his breath fell into the pattern of his steps... each
footfall equaled a "Damn," a litany of his frustration and fear. He knew he had
to get back to the shop and Nasutei and the seals, but his feet didn't seem to
want to cooperate with his mind. He could feel something coming up closer behind
him. Taba closed his eyes and willed his legs to move faster, to just get a
little more distance between them. When he opened them once more, he found
himself staring straight into the dancing eyes of Nasutei.
He stopped dead.
She giggled, winked quickly, and roughly shoved him out of the way. Mouth
agape, he watched her as she skated straight towards the Bake-Neko, crouched low
to gain speed. The idiot! What the hell did she think she was doing? She was as
bad as Umezaki!
He abruptly understood. Sighing the sigh of the long-suffering, he started
to run back, reminding himself that he was going to put his letter of
resignation on the Prez's desk first thing tomorrow morning. If he lived that
long.
He tried to swallow down the tears as he ran faster.
--//--
Nasutei was rapidly approaching the Bake-Neko, skating harder than she had
ever done before. Lord, this was fun. With a nearly maniacal glint in her eyes,
she shifted her grip on the bag behind her back to make sure it was still there.
The kitty cat was right in front of her now, dangerously close. Without
slowing, Nasutei swerved to the left and swung the bag at the cat's face with
all her strength. She smirked in satisfaction as she heard both the crunch of
smashed glass and a pained howl. Too bad about the light bulbs, though. She
would have to buy more tomorrow.
--//--
The whole situation was getting frustrating.
Nasutei was acting like she actually enjoyed it. The Bake-Neko wouldn't get
into the seals' range. And what's worse, this was supposed to be his day off.
Damn frustrating. Taba allowed himself to wallow in self-pity, until he saw the
cat-girl pick herself up from the ground, dust herself free of red shards, and
start to chase Nasutei.
Red... shards? Taba blinked. Had he missed something?
--//--
Nasutei ducked back into the shop and headed straight for the seals. Okay...
she was here, and so was the cat. Why wasn't it disappearing in a puff of cat
fur or something? She started to fidget. Slowly realizing that maybe her idea
wasn't so great after all, she did the only think she could think of as the
Bake- Neko made a grab for her with those long, sharp, painful-looking claws.
"TABA!!"
--//--
He heard his name screamed desperately.
"Nasutei!" He called back as he skidded through the crooked doorframe.
Diving behind the counter, he instructed, "Get out of there!"
She didn't need to be told twice. Trying to duck under the Bake-Neko's
flailing arms, she managed to barely skirt by. She winced as the claws caught
across the back of her shirt, tearing the fabric and the skin. She faintly heard
Taba cry "DELETE!" before everything became an overused cliche.
You know, went black.
--//--
"That's the way it happened. I swear that's the way it happened!"
Taba found himself staring into three pairs of disbelieving eyes. (Takami was
making tea in the other room, and Himehagi was in the basement, sleeping as
usual.)
Umezaki snorted, while Rando simply rolled her eyes. President Kikushima
cleared her throat. Standing on top of her desk -- as she usually does whenever
she proclaims something that Taba isn't going to like -- she pointed an
accusatory finger at him and began her speech. "Taba Yoichi! You have been found
guilty of the egregious offense of damaging private property while not under
contract! In accordance with Chapter 14, Rule 7 of Kagura Security's Company
Policy, you shall be required to perform your customary duty without monetary
compensation for a total of 72 hours! This rule is now under enforcement!"
They stared at each other.
"You can't be serious," Taba deadpanned.
Kikushima continued to point.
"But I wasn't the one who set the seals!" Taba wailed. "I didn't know the
whole damn neighborhood was going to blow up!"
Kikushima continued to point.
He glowered for a moment or two, before sighing resignedly and stalking to
the door. He was going to quit. Really, he was. Tomorrow. He was going to write
the resignation letter tonight, and put it on Kikushima's desk first thing in
the morning.
He thought he heard a faint "Have a nice day!" as he slammed the door behind
him.
--//--
Nasutei smiled faintly as she continued to skate towards her lakeside
mansion, ignoring the stinging on her back and the strange glances being cast
her way. She knew she didn't look good; her hair was a cloud of tangles, her
shirt was tattered, and she was covered in something that she hoped was soot.
But, aside from the slight concussion she was suffering from, she felt pretty
good.
Goodness, that had been fun.
Did Taba do that every day? She closed her eyes, trying to recapture the
rush the adrenaline had given her. The way the wind had felt in her hair, the
thrill throwing her bag into that Bake-Neko's face she had felt.... She hugged
herself, smiling blissfully.
What was that company's name again? Kaguya? Kaguta? Kagura...?