SHIN-CHAN'S SILLY STORIES:
MYSTICAL ARMOR . . . RANMA ???
by SHIN-CHAN


The scene opens in the family room of a large house. Against one wall is a big screen TV. Several multicolored wires lead from it to a nearby computer desk. Set ten or so feet from the TV are a large cushy blue sofa with a coffee table in front of it, which is liberally decorated with a number of books and magazines. Next to the sofa is a matching easy chair.
A cute petite young lady with long straight brown hair and hazel eyes walks into the living room and gazes at you in surprise. It is obvious she wasn't expecting any guests, as she is dressed in a Samurai Trooper T-shirt that hasn't been tucked in and a pair of cut off jean shorts. She also doesn't have any shoes on. Weakly she smiles.
"Ah, um, hi. I didn't hear you come in. My name is Shin-Chan." She walks over and sits on the arm of the sofa, waving for you to take the easy chair. "Well, actually that isn't my real name. I just call myself that while I am in the world of anime, well at least the YST world. It just drives Shin bonkers."
She laces her fingers together and gives you a sheepish look. "You know, today was a bad day to drop in unannounced. Everyone is gone today except me. They all decided to have a day off from being Samurai Troopers, so they upped and bailed, leaving me to housesit. So if you wanted to see them, or read a story about them, you are out of luck." Shin-Chan glances at the coffee table and sighs."You think they could try to keep things neat around here. We never know when guests drop in."Shin-Chan slides down on the sofa and starts to straighten out the magazines, then stops.
"You know, since they have taken the day off, lets have some fun." Suddenly, an evil grin flashes across her face, sending a chill racing down your spine. "Lets see what would have happened if some other group got the job of being the Samurai Troopers. That way you won't have a wasted trip, and I won't be bored out of my mind." She jumps up and walks over to the computer desk and lifts up the dust screen. "Touma set this up a while ago, after we all had it up too here," she draws her hand swiftly across her neck, "with listening to Shu complain that there wasn't anything on TV. He got rather annoying, let me tell you. Some of us, mainly Arial, were getting ready to kill him, or at least do some grievous bodily harm to him. The next day, to keep the peace, Touma monkeyed around with the satellite dish receiver, and now we get channels from everywhere in the world. Let me tell you, Gilligan's Island in Swahili is a lark."
Shin-Chan starts typing on the keyboard, occasionally using the backspace key when she messes up. Several different frames flash across the screen until it stops on a form of some sort.
"After listening to Shu complain three hours straight that he couldn't find the show he wanted to watch, Touma wrote this little program. It is so simple. All you have to do is fill out the form, hit enter, and the computer will find the show you want to watch. Like a remote control, but better. Watch."
Shin-Chan starts typing again. "Okay, lets see. Search Perimeter: Multi dimensional. Oh did I tell you that do to some little glitch in the rewiring of the dish, we can receive shows from other dimensions. Nothing from outer space though. Now next line, Show Title: Yoroiden Samurai Troopers. Now this is important. The computer will now search all dimensions for shows featuring the Samurai Troopers. Originating Country: Japan. That is where the show is originally from. This narrows down the search to one country. Receiving Country: Japan. Don't worry. You will be able to understand it. Episode: Receiving yoroi. Main Character Sex: Well, lets leave that blank and see what the computer comes up with on its own. Generally you would type in whether the cast members are all male, female or a mixture of both. Now all we have to do is press enter and the computer will search all the alternate dimensions for Yoroiden Samurai Trooper type shows featuring the cast members receiving their mystical yoroi. Cool, huh?" Shin-Chan reaches for the enter key, then stops. Quicky she re-scans the form and winces. "Oops. Missed one. Show Modifier: A new group of teens receives the YST yoroi." She turns to you. "That was close. Nearly screwed the whole thing up."
Shin-Chan presses enter and then goes back to the sofa. "Take a seat." She reaches under the cushion and pulls out the remote, and turns on the TV. It quickly becomes obvious that she should have turned the TV on sooner, as the opening credits click off and a commercial comes on.
"I am going to have to talk to Touma about entering a commercial filter."
The commercial ends, and the show begins.


It is a typical spring day in the township of Nermia. Birds were singing in the trees, children were innocently playing in back yards and parks, and the local insurance adjustors were pulling out their hair in anguish at all the claims they had to file due to property damage caused by martial artist.
In an empty lot nearby, a small group of teenagers was having a lively discussion on a topic most dear to them, who was and wasn't engaged to whom.
It had started innocently enough, as it usually did in cases like this in these parts. Ranma and Akane were walking down the street together, with the prescribed six feet of distance between them, so that anyone passing them wouldn't think they were walking together, when Shampoo sped in on her bike.
"Nihao!" She jumped off her bike and glomped onto his arm.
Then Ukkyo appeared with her spatulas. "Hey! Get off of my Ran-chan!"
Shampoo's eyes narrowed momentarily, then she stuck her nose up into the air. "Ranma Shampoo husband. Silly Spatula Girl have no right to interfere, go away."
Ukkyo's eyes narrowed, and she clenched her fists. "Ran-chan is my fiancé, so let go," she growled in a dangerous voice.
"No, Shampoo husband!"
"Who cares?" Akane stated as she walked past the trio. A slight hardening of the eyes and narrowing of the lips singled to anyone who was paying attention that she did mind. A lot. And that a certain someone would be paying dear for it in the near future. Naturally enough, nobody noticed.
"Akane!" Ranma hopped after her, dragging Shampoo along as he vainly tried to pry her off. "Come on Shampoo, let go!"
"Why?" Shampoo asked, pouting. "Shampoo a better wife than Violent Girl." She smirked and shot Akane a sly look. "Ranma say so too."
Ranma made a desperate sound, somewhere between a choke and a gag. He looked from Shampoo to Akane in horror, a giant sweat drop appearing on the side of his face.
"RANMA!" The stone fence next to them exploded outwards, showering the street with rubble, and Ryouga walked through the hole eyes blazing. "How could you say something like that about Akane?!"
"I didn't!"
"Ranma did so!"
Things rapidly deteriorated after that, and they soon relocated to a nearby empty lot to have more room to discuss things.
As Shampoo and Ukkyo yelled at each other why they would make the better wife, Ranma and Ryouga were having a one way discussion on how Ranma just doesn't treat Akane right. (Ryouga's point of view of course). Totally forgotten by all four was Akane, who was standing on the edge of the lot. A soft breeze blew through her short hair, and she sighed.
No matter what, it was always the same.
Determinedly she looked up. She was not going to spend all day standing here watching this. She had better things to be doing. With a final look at Ranma, he was mocking Ryouga, she turned to leave.
A soft ringing sound filled the air. The four combatants stopped fighting and looked around in confusion. Akane was still standing at the edge of the lot, and was looking around as well. Where was that sound coming from?
A glowing sphere of light appeared in the middle of the lot. Immediately Ukkyo tightened her grip on her battle spatula. Shampoo and Ranma fell into battle stances, and Ryouga pulled several bandanas off of his head. Akane brought a hand up to her lips.
As the glow began to fade, a human form began to take shape. The light faded completely, and a white-haired monk stood before them holding a shajuko.
"Greetings. I am Kaosu," he told them in a soft but firm voice. "You five have been chosen to defend the mortal realm from the threat of the Evil Empire."
The five teenagers looked at each other at this statement, was this guy for real? then back at the monk.
"You are kidding, right?" Ranma asked, his voice full of doubt.
"No," Kaosu said softly. "Due to your strong fighting spirits and determination, you five have been chosen to wear the mystical armors of the Samurai Troopers."
Everyone was quite as his words sank in. Shampoo slid over to Ukkyo. "Shampoo think monk pray too hard," she whispered. "Mind now like oatmeal." Ukkyo nodded in agreement.
Akane walked closer to the monk. "Excuse me . . . mystical armor?"
"Yes, Tendo Akane," Akane gave a little start. How had he known her name? Kaosu bestowed a gentle smile upon her. "Mystical armor."
Without warning, he sharply brought the shajuko down on the ground. A familiar ringing sound filled the air as each of them was surrounded by a glowing light. When the light around them faded, each of them held a small crystal sphere. They face faulted.
"This is it?" Ranma held up the red crystal at eye level. He was not impressed. "This is mystical armor? You have gotta be joking." Shampoo and Ryouga were equally impressed as they stared at their colored crystals.
"Shampoo right," she murmured. "Oatmeal."
Akane was gazing down at the light blue crystal in her hand. "It is pretty," she offered.
"Yes, pretty," Ukkyo agreed as she looked at her dark blue crystal, which she was rolling around in her palm. "But that is all it is. I don't see how this can be armor."
"Throw the yoroi sphere into the air, and follow after it."
Ranma arched his eyebrows as he stared at the monk. <This guy is nuts.> He tossed his crystal into the air, caught it, and shrugged. <Ah well. Can't hurt none.> "Okay," he sighed. Everyone turned to him. "Lets see what happens." Ranma pitched the red crystal high above him, and leaped up after it.
The other four gasped in amazement as a red glow enveloped Ranma. When he landed, he was wearing a red and white body armor. "It worked!?!" he exclaimed in shocked amazement. <Wow. The geezer was right!>
Kaosu smiled as the other four looked at their crystal, and then threw them up into the air. A moment later all five were in armor.
<It is true!> Ryouga thought as he gazed down at his green and white armor. <It is really true. Mystical armor.> Surely he would be able to defeat Ranma now!
"This is your base armor," Kaosu explained to the excited teenagers. "With it your strength, speed and agility have increased dramatically."
Shampoo smiled at that. She was already strong and fast. With this armor, no one would be able to beat her in combat. Ranma would see she would make the best wife.
Ukkyo nodded as she looked at her armor. "Not bad," she commented after she finished checking it out. "But, I don't know," she looked at Kaosu. "I guess I expected something, you know, more elaborate, more fancy."
"As I said, this is your base armor." Everyone joined Ukkyo at looking at Kaosu. "It is to be used in light battle. For true battle you must call up your battle armor."
"Battle armor?!?"
"Yes, full battle armor. You call it forth by name."
"Uh, Kaosu, that is all find and dandy," Ranma drawled, "but what are the armors names?"
"Rekke." He turned to Ryouga. "Korin."
"Korin?" Ryouga repeated to himself.
Kaosu turned to the girls. "Tenku. Suiko. Kongo."
"Call them up by name hmmm," Ranma mussed, then snapped his fingers. "Got it!" He took a deep breath. "Busso, Rekke!"
A giant sweat drop appeared on the side of Kaosu's face as the rest watched intently.
"Cool!" Ranma looked down at his new armor. It was much fancier, and offered better protection. "Huh?" He reached behind him and pulled out twin katana blades. "Wow! Weapons too?"
The rest of them, much to Kaosu's dismay, also eagerly armed themselves.
"This Shampoo weapon?" She frowned at her tetsubo and swung it in the air experimentally. "Shampoo rather have sword."
<Finally!> Ryouga clutched his no-dachi and held it aloft, tears of joy streaming down his cheeks. <The Gods have shown mercy on me. Now I will finally gain Akane's love!>
"Um, Kaosu?" He turned to Ukkyo, who was turning her bow in her hands. "I was never much fond of archery. Can't I just use my spatulas instead?"
Kaosu's face went blank.
"This is great!" Everyone turned to Akane. She had been very quiet up till now. "I love it!" She spun her yari in the air and then pointed it at Ranma. The outer two points snapped together, and giant sweat drops appeared on the faces of her new comrades-in-arms. Ranma swallowed nervously and stepped back a pace.
"Heeeeey," Ukkyo looked closer at Akane. "She has a tanto too."
"Claws on arm," Shampoo pointed out, eyes narrowing. Both girls looked at their weapons, then turned to Kaosu.
"How come Violent Girl have better weapons than Shampoo."
"Yeah!" Ukkyo agreed. "We are much better fighters than she is. I should have those weapons!"
"No, Shampoo best warrior, not Spatula Girl. Shampoo should have best weapons."
"Your weapons are not normal weapons," Kaosu said nervously. Maybe the spirits had chosen wrong. "Each has a special attack."
"Really?" Akane quickly approached Kaosu. This was getting better and better. Mystic armor and a special attack.
Ranma twirled his katanas in front of him. "So, where did you get these things anyway?"
"Shampoo want know special attack." She stepped threateningly toward Kaosu. Ukkyo followed suit. "Now!"
<This is getting out of hand.> Once again Kaosu slammed the shajuko on the ground. When the ringing faded, they were back in their normal cloths.
"Hey!" Akane wailed. "Why did you do that?" Kaosu sighed.
"Before you are able to use your special attacks, you must know more about the armors themselves." Everyone crowded around him. "Each armor represents one of the five elements, and each is bound to a human virtue. To properly use your armors, you must come to understand them."
He pointed the end of the shajuko at Ranma. "Your element is fire." Ranma nodded. "Your virtue is harmony. You bind the five armors and their wearers together."
<Harmony?> Akane looked around. <Ranma? With this bunch? Now that is expecting a lot.> Akane smiled softly. <Well, it could be worse. Ranma's virtue could be humility. Then we would be in real trouble.>
"Ryouga."
His head jerked up. "H-hai?"
"Your element is the essence of the spirit. Your strength is drawn from light. Your virtue is courtesy."
"Ukkyo," he turned to her. "Your element is the sky. Your virtue is wisdom."
"Naturally," She replied, casually flipping her hair behind her and earning her a glare from both Akane and Shampoo.
"Shampoo. Your element is the earth itself. Your virtue is justice."
Shampoo gave a curt nod. Justice. That she understood.
"Akane." Kaosu turned to her and smiled. She seemed to be the most level of the group. "Your element is water." He paused and looked at the others. They, with the exception of Ukkyo had frozen in place, with horrified looks on their faces as their gazes slowly turned to Akane. How strange. "You virtue," he continued, "is truth."
"Each of the armors draw strength from their elements, and from you."
Akane clutched her crystal to her heart. Mystical armor. She could hardly believe it! For the first time, she was on an equal footing with the others, even Ranma! This was a dream come true!
"Together you have to defeat the Evil Empire, and save the world."
"Shampoo happy!" She ran over and grabbed Ranma's arm. "Ranma and Shampoo save world together!"
"Hey!" Ukkyo marched over to them. "Don't forget Ryouga and me."
"That's right!" Ryouga growled at Ranma and quickly came to stand next to Ukkyo. "We are in this the same as you are!"
Ukkyo reached behind her and pulled out her battle spatula. "And after we win," she gave Shampoo a nasty look, "I'm marrying Ran-chan!"
Shampoo's eyes went flat and she tightened her grip on Ranma's arm."Ranma is Shampoo husband. No marry Spatula Girl."
"Ah, what about me?" The four of them turned and looked at Akane. Once again, they had forgotten she was there.
"Even with armor, Violent Girl no good fighter. Best leave battle to us."
"Yeah Akane," Ukkyo added. "You are good, but not good enough."
"And what do you two think?" she growled at Ranma and Ryouga.
"Ah, umm, er . . . " Nervously Ryouga ran a finger along the inside of his collar. Rock and a hard place. He 'ummed' and 'erred' some more.
"Shampoo and Ukkyo are right." Akane's eyes narrowed ominously. "You are the weakest. You'll just get in our way . . . " Ranma began to step back as Akane began to approach him.
"Ranma . . . " she whipped out her wooden mallet and swung it experimentally, "no baka!"
A giant sweat drop appeared on Kaosu's head as he watched Suiko no Akane pound Rekka no Ranma into the ground.
"Can't fight huh?" she snarled. She spun to Kaosu, mallet still in her hand. "Is there anything else we need to know?" she all but snarled.
Kaosu swallowed nervously. So much for his idea that she was the most level headed of the lot. "In a few months time, Arago's Evil Empire will attack. You must prepare yourself for battle." They looked at each other and nodded. Kaosu got the distinct impression that this would not be new to them. "Before I leave, there is one more thing I must do. On your quest to save the world, you will have one companion and guardian to watch over you. His name is Byakuen."
At that, a soft yellow glow appeared next to him. Slowly it began to take form. The glow faded, and the four teenagers looked at their new companion with disbelieving eyes. All of them could see Big Trouble looming in the immediate future.
"Ohhh," Ranma brought a hand to the new lump on his head and stood up. "Kawaiikune," he muttered under his breath, just loud enough so that he could hear himself, not loud enough to cause Akane to pound him with the mallet again. After all these months, he still hadn't figured out where she got them from or how to defend against them. A soft whuffing sound came from behind him and he turned.
"TIGER!!!!!" Ranma bolted in fear as his greatest terror in the world stared at him with steady brown eyes. His flight was quickly ended when he ran into the stone fence that ran along one end of the empty lot, knocking himself out cold.
Kaosu turned away from Ranma's prone form, which had little fuzzy birdies fluttering above it, and met Byakuen's confused gaze. This was not how it was suppose to be . . .


**CLICK**
Shin-Chan blankly stares at the darkened TV screen, leaning back into the soft cushiness of the sofa. Slowly she sets the remote on the sofa arm, being careful not to look at you. "Ookay," she drawls out. "Now wasn't that interesting."
<You could say that.> A giant white tiger appears out of nowhere and stands in front of the TV. He blinks curiously at you and Shin-Chan, then focuses on Shin-Chan. <What do you think you are doing?>
"Ahhh," Shin-Chan swallowed nervously under the tiger's firm gaze. He was not amused. "We were just seeing what might have happened if some other group of teenagers received the Samurai yoroi . . . "
<That,> Byakuen broke in, giving the TV a disgusted look, <would never have happened. Giving five people who can't get along the yoroi . . . > he sniffed, <I suggest you change your modifier and specify a group that can get along with each other.>
She gives him a startled look and then smiles in relief. "Good idea." Shin-Chan sprang up and quickly went to the computer. "I'll do it right now. Lets see . . . Show Modifier: A new group of teens, friends, receives the YST yoroi. There we go, that should do it."
She reaches for the enter key, then pauses. For a moment she bites down on her bottom lip in indecision and looks over the form again. "Lets change that too," she murmurs to herself. "Avoid that boyfriend/girlfriend problem. Main Character Sex: all male, or all female. No need to limit the computer too much. Besides, I like the idea of an all female teem."
She presses enter then bolts to the sofa, grabbing the remote and turning on the TV, cutting into the middle of a commercial.
"I just hate commercials."
The commercial ends, and the opening credits start. A lively tune begins, and five girls in armor burst onto the screen. In the corner, in cursive writing, is the show's name. Lovely Samurai Warrior Sailor Moon.
**CLICK**

THE END???