SHIN-CHAN'S SILLY STORIES:
LOVELY SAMURAI WARRIOR SAILOR MOON
by SHIN-CHAN




"Hello! We're back!" Shu noisily burst through the front door followed the rest of the gang. "Shin-Chan, Nasutei? Anyone home?"
"I'm in the kitchen," Nasutei called out.
"Shin-Chan?" Shu called as they walked down the hall.
Nasutei stepped out of the kitchen. "She has left already."
"Really?" Seiji frowned. "That is strange. She said she was planning on spending the entire day here."
Nasutei shrugged. "Something important must have come up. She rushed out of here as soon as I returned home. Shin-Chan said to tell you that she was sorry that she couldn't say 'bye', but she couldn't stay any longer."
"That is unusual," Shin murmured. "Usually you can't drag her out of here."
"Shin!" Arial stomped her foot. "What kind of thing is that to say?"
"It's the truth Arial," Ryo pointed out in Shin's defense. "She is here almost as much as you are . . . " his sentence faded off as Arial turned her glare to him and he nervously cleared his throat. ". . . not that any of us mind or anything . . . "
"Hump!" Arial stuck her nose in the air and marched into the kitchen.
"Shame on you Ryo." Everyone turned to Touma. "You know it is Shu's job to annoy Arial. What is he going to do now?"
"Hey!" Shu protested.
"I heard that!" a muffled voice called out warningly from the kitchen. Touma winced.
Shu gave the kitchen door a wary look. On the other side of that door was a highly irritated Arial. He was not going in there, for anything. He turned to his best friend in all the world with a huge grin on his face. "Shin, why don't you fix the popcorn."
Shin gave his friend a steady look. "Coward." Shin took a deep breath and pushed open the swinging door. It swung close behind him.
"Popcorn?"
"Yeah," Shu held up a video cassette for Nasutei's inspection. "A Jackie Chan movie. Shin-Chan hasn't seen many of them, so we got it for her to watch."
"Actually," Seiji butted in, "the video store was out of new releases and Shu hasn't seen this one yet. We couldn't think of anything else to watch, so we got that one."
"Hey, Arial said that Shin-Chan likes Jackie Chan. That it was just like watching anime in real life."
"Oh, no more." Ryo covered his eyes in exhaustion. "We have already been over this a dozen times. There is no need to go over it again." He turned to Nasutei. "It took us two hours to decide on that video." She winced in sympathy.
"Well, I'm gonna pop it in the VCR." Shu quickly entered the family room.
"She wasn't all that happy with being left here alone." Nasutei, Ryo and Touma turned to Seiji. He had a thoughtful look in his eyes. "Do you think she left early because we upset her?"
"What are you talking about?"
"Shin-Chan. Running out of here like that isn't like her, Shin was right about that." He turned to Nasutei. "Are you sure she didn't say why she was leaving?" Nasutei shook her head.
"Hey guys," Shu called out. A moment later he walked out of the family room holding an unlabeled video cassette in his hand. "What is this?"
"A video tape," Seiji pointed out helpfully. Shu glared at him.
The kitchen door swung open. The aroma of freshly popped popcorn filled the hallway as Arial peered out. She gave everyone in the hall a curious look. "What is going on?"
"It's mine." Everyone swung to Touma as he stepped forwards and took the tape from Shu. "I forgot about it. It is for a research project of mine."
They all looked at each other. Shin appeared behind Arial. "What kind of research?"
Touma shrugged. "With the way the TV is now set up, I got curious about what kind of programs are floating around. I set up the VCR to record whenever anyone activated the program search on the computer."
He held up the tape and looked at it. It was halfway over. "Hmmm, looks like Shin-Chan was using the computer. Anyone curious about what it was she was watching?" He waved the tape. "It is only one hour long."
The tape was out of Touma's hand before he could even blink. He looked past his now empty hand at the doorway to the family room where Arial had just disappeared into with the tape.
"Guess so," Shu murmured, then turned to Shin. "Is the popcorn ready?"

Everyone made themselves comfortable in the family room. There was a brief scuffle over the ownership of stray throw pillows and who was in charge of what bowl of popcorn. Once they were settled Ryo hit the play button, Arial had already rewound the tape by the time everyone else made their way into the room, and the show began.
*A half-hour later . . . *
Ryo hit stop. Now they knew why Shin-Chan has bolted out of here so fast.
"She, uh . . . uh . . . " Shu waved his hand in the air as he searched for the proper word to use.
". . . was defiantly not happy with being left here alone." Seiji finished for him.
Muffled choking sounds came form the direction of the love seat. When they looked, they saw that Arial's face was buried in Shin's shoulder. Her whole body was shaking as she giggled uncontrollably. Shin gazed at them helplessly.
"I didn't find it that funny," Ryo growled.
"I don't know." They turned to Nasutei who was sitting in her easy chair. She was tying hard not to smile. "I thought it was cute myself."
"It really wasn't that bad," Shin added.
"That," Seiji replied acidly, "is because Ryouga wasn't wearing your armor."
"I love it!" Arial gurgled. All the guys except Shin and Touma glared at her. "That was so great! It was so funny . . . " Arial broke down into giggles and turned her face back into Shin's shoulder.
"Her opinion doesn't count."
"You said it."
"I am with you on that one."
"It doesn't really matter."
Everyone swivelled to Touma, who had been pretty quite up 'till now. "None of what we saw ever really happened. There is no reason to get so upset about it. It is just a show."
Ryo turned and stared at the VCR. "You did say one hour worth of video, right?"
Touma nodded.
"Well, we have a half-hour left. Anyone really want to see what is on the rest of the tape?"
"I do," Nasutei looked at the TV, curiosity lighting up her eyes. "I wonder if the second episode is next."
"I really hate to admit it, but I am curious," Seiji announced. "It really can't hurt to see the rest of the tape."
"You hope not," Shu grumbled. He didn't understand what Seiji was so upset about. At least a guy had worn his armor. He had a purple-haired Chinese airhead in his.
"Okay, we watch the next episode, and if it turns out that Kunou gets the Oni yoroi, the tape is over." Ryo pushed play. He had to fast forward through a commercial, and then the show began.

"This is great!" Usagi flumped backwards onto Minako's floor, a huge grin splitting her face in two. "The Dark Moon threat is gone, Chibi Usa is gone, life is wonderful!"
The rest of the Sailor Senshi and Luna lowered their heads in despair.
"Come on guys," Usagi sat up and looked at her friends. "What is the problem? Everything is back to normal."
"Usagi . . . " Rei growled and suddenly slammed her hands palms down on the table. Usagi jumped. "This is serious!"
"We have discovered a new threat," Artemis walked into Minako's room and sat next to Luna. "A dark force emanating from the heart of Tokyo."
"Any idea of what is causing it?" Ami questioned him. Both guardian cats shook their heads.
"This energy is totally unknown to us." Luna sighed. "Its potential threat is equal to Queen Beryl and the Dark Kingdom."
"Then we have to do something." Makoto announced.
Luna nodded. "I suggest that you all go to Shinjuku to investigate this dark force after school tomorrow."
"Ehhhhh," Usagi's face fell and she stared down into her lap. She had been planning on spending some time with Mamo-chan now that little pink-haired pest of a future daughter was gone, not running around trying to find unwanted youma. Why was life always so unfair?

The next afternoon the five Senshi and the two cats were walking down the busy streets of Shinjuku. Usagi was happily munching down the pocky sticks she had just purchased from a small grocery store. Minako and Makoto, with Artemis draped over Minako's shoulders, were absently chatting about the latest fashions, cooking and cute guys. Rei was studying the sky, a pensive expression on her face. Ami was rapidly typing on her computer. Luna was draped over her shoulders and was following the readout with Ami.
"I cannot pinpoint the dark energy. According to my computer, it is all around us."
"Well," Usagi finished off her last pocky. "Looks like we won't find anything here. Lets go home." She was instantly on the receiving end of six exasperated gazes. "O~o~ka~y," she sang out, "I guess not. What do we do now?"
"Shhh," Rei tilted her head to one side, then looked around the street. "I sense something. A strong spiritual presence."
She turned in a full circle, and stopped as she stared back down the way they had came. Someone was watching them. "We are being watched," she whispered. Everyone instantly became alert. "From back there," Rei continued.
Makoto stared down the street with searching eyes. She didn't see anything out of the ordinary. It was the normal scene one would expect to see in Shinjuku on a typical Saturday afternoon. "Is it the enemy?" she whispered to Rei.
Rei shook her head. "No. Whoever it is has nothing to do with the dark energy." She took a firm grip on her purse strap and began to march down the street.
"Rei," Ami called after her. "What are you doing?"
"I am going to find out who it is who is watching us."
The other four Senshi and the cats looked at each other, then raced after her.

"I'm tired," Usagi whined as she collapsed onto a park bench. Rei had been tracking whomever it was who had been spying on them for the past forty-five minutes. She insisted that they needed to find this person, but could not elaborate on why. It was a feeling she had.
Unfortunately for them, whoever it was always slipped away right when they thought they had caught up with him. A shadow slipping around a corner was the closest they ever got to the mysterious figure. Now they were in a small park, and fed up with this wild goose chase they had been lead on.
"I believe that we should go no further," Ami announced. "Whomever we are following knows it, and is deliberately playing with us."
"Yes" Minako sat next to Usagi. "And is possibly leading us into a trap. I don't like it."
"Ohhh! If only I could get my hands on him . . . " Rei threatened.
"You would do what?" a soft male voice asked. They all spun around in surprise. Standing on the path behind them was a monk.
"Who are you?!" Makoto demanded as she marched toward him. "Are you the person who had us running all over Shinjuku?"
"Yes Makoto, I am." She froze in her approach, how had he known her name?
"Why?" Usagi stood up and bravely walked to him. For some reason he did not scare her at all, which meant that he couldn't be all that bad.
"Usagi!" Rei hissed in warning. Usagi ignored her.
The monk gave Rei an amused glance. "I needed to speak to you five alone, away from prying eyes and ears."
"Okay then," Rei marched up and stood next to Usagi, her arms crossed and her eyes flashing dangerously. "Here we are, talk!"
"I assume you are aware of the dark presence surrounding Shinjuku." The monk nodded to himself as they stared at him in shock. Yes they were aware of it. That made things much simpler. "That is the presence of the Evil Empire. A force of demons, youja, lead by a demon called Lord Arago, from the Youjakai."
"How do you know so much about them?" Ami asked. "And what do we have to do with this?"
Kaosu sighed. "A thousand years ago Arago attempted to take over the Ningenkai. He was defeated by a warrior monk and sent back to his world. I, Kaosu, was that man."
The Sailor Senshi and the cats gave the monk a long leery look. A thousand years ago?
Makoto crossed her arms and gave the monk a searching look. "You seem to be in pretty good shape for someone over a thousand years old."
"Not all that good of shape, I fear. Arago is returning, and I no longer have the strength to fight him. This is where you five come in."
"Us?" Usagi squeaked, eyes growing wide. No. This could not be happening. Not again. Not when everything was finally getting back to normal.
"Yes, you. The ancient spirits have chosen you five to defend the world from the threat the Evil Empire poses."
"And just how do you expect us to do that?" Rei propped her fists on her hips, giving the monk a glowering glare.
Kaosu smiled, amused by her actions. "With these," he calmly stated. He slammed his shajuko hard on the ground. A chiming filled the air. Around him appeared five glowing spheres of light, each a different color. The cats immediately sprang to the ground, their fur standing on end from the mystical energy surrounding the small group.
Before anyone could react to what was happening, the five balls of light shot toward and struck the senshi.
"Eh?" Usagi covered her eyes as the dark blue light struck her, then uncovered them when she felt nothing happen. "What was that?" she asked in a soft voice, then she glanced down. "Oh!" She was wearing . . . armor? She spread her arms wide and looked down her back. Yep, armor. It didn't feel any heavier than her normal cloths, and it defiantly didn't look anything like her sailor suit, except the color scheme. It was a dark blue and white.
"What is this?!" Rei demanded. Usagi turned her attention away from herself and looked at her friends. Each of them was wearing armor exactly like hers, except in color.
Rei's was red and white, which looked great with her long black hair. Minako's armor was orange and white, Makoto's was green and white. Ami's was blue and white like hers, except it was a lighter shade of blue.
"These are the five armors of the Samurai Troopers," Kaosu announced to the five girls. "With them you have the power to fight the Evil Empire . . . " His voice faded off as his gaze fell on Usagi. Everyone else turned to her as well.
Usagi had returned to studying her armor. After giving it a quick visual once over, she had started to rap her knuckles on the arm plates and the chest plates. She didn't feel a thing. Then she preformed some stretching exercises and jumping jacks (while by some miracle not tripping over her feet), no binding in the joints at all.
"This is great!" Usagi looked up and saw that everyone was staring at her, great beads of sweat hanging from the sides of their heads. She looked at them curiously, bringing a finger up to her chin. "Is something wrong?" she asked innocently. They all collapsed.
"Ahem," Kaosu cleared his throat from where he had been watching the entire strange episode. "As I was saying, with these armors you have the power to defend the Ningenkai from the Evil Empire."
"Excuse me," Rei interrupted. Kaosu turned to her. "How is a suit of armor going to do us any good? We are better off as Senshi."
"I beg to differ Rei." Ami came up to stand next to her. Sometime during Kaosu's speech, she had pulled out her computer. "These armors have unusual energy readings. I have never seen anything like it before."
"Really?" Rei arched her brows at Kaosu. "Okay, how do we use these things?"
"Currently, what you are wearing is your base armor. It is for light skirmishes." Usagi froze. Skirmishes? Like, actual combat? She did not like the sound of that. "It increases your strength and agility. For true battle," Kaosu continued, "you must call forth your battle armor."
"Seems reasonable. How do we do that?"
"Simple Minako. You must summon your battle armor by name."
"And," Makoto prompted. "What are they?"
A slight serene smile came to Kaosu. "Your armor is Korin. It draws power from light and represents the virtue of courtesy."
"What?" Makoto looked down at her armor. "Courtesy? In a fight?" The serene smile fell off Kaosu's face.
"Each armor represents an element and a virtue." Ami nodded thoughtfully. "How interesting."
"Indeed Ami," Kaosu turned to her. "Your armor is Suiko, the water armor. It represents faith. Minako," he turned to her. "Your armor is Kongo, powered by the earth itself. It represents justice."
Minako smiled and flipped her hair. "A beautiful angel of justice, that's me."
"What about me? What is my armor?"
"Your armor is Rekke, Rei. The armor of fire. Your virtue is that of harmony." Everyone's face went blank. Harmony? Rei?
"And what about me?" Usagi walked up to Kaosu, her hands clenched tightly in front of her. "What are my armor and virtue?"
He gave her a gentle smile. "Your armor is Tenku, the armor of the sky. Your virtue is the virtue of wisdom."
"Wisdom!" The four senshi and the cats' face faulted and turned to Usagi, giant sweat drops once again appearing on their heads. There had to have been a mistake made somewhere.
Rei brought a hand to her temples. "Space cadet has the armor of wisdom? That's it. We are doomed."
"What do you mean by that?" Usagi demanded and marched up to Rei.
"It is just that the mere thought of you being associated in any way with the concept of wisdom . . . "
"Oh yeah, Miss Harmony-is-not-in-my-vocabulary?" Usagi stuck her tongue out at Rei.
"Yeah Miss Wisdom-is-an-alien-concept." Rei stuck her own tongue out.
"Umm," Ami looked back and forth between Usagi and Rei. "Should we not see what our armors are like?"
"Yes," Usagi turned away from Rei, who stuck her tongue out at Usagi one last time, and bounced over to a rapidly growing nervous Kaosu. "You said that all we had to do to summon them was to call them by their name, right?"
Kaosu slowly nodded at her, still reeling by the display he had just witnessed.
"Okay then," she stepped away from Kaosu, a deep look of concentration on her face. "Ummm . . . " She glanced around at the others, then snapped her fingers. "I got it! Tenku . . . " She reached her hand above her head and quickly made a fist, bringing her arm down in front of her as she did so. ". . . Make-Up!"
Kaosu stared at her in amazement. What kind of summoning was that?
Forty-five seconds and a right blizzard of cherry blossom petals later, Usagi was in the Tenku armor.
"Wow!" Makoto whispered. "Way cool. Korin, Make-Up!"
"Kongo, Make-Up!"
"Rekke, Make-Up!"
"Suiko, Make-Up!"
"Well Luna," Artemis said from the bench where he and Luna had relocated to. Slowly Kaosu turned and stared at the bench. Talking cats? "That armor does look impressive, as do their weapons."
"And no ridiculous speeches as they transformed. But," Luna turned to the white cat next to her. "They have no idea how to use weapons."
"That is true," he agreed, nodding sagely.
"Uh, what is this?" Minako spun her tetsubo in the air and then stared at the naginata blade at one end. "Does anyone know how this thing works?"
"Wow!" Makoto stated softly as she held her no-dachi high above her head. "This is so cool."
Rei was waving her twin katanas in front of her. "I am supposed to use both of these? At the same time?" There was a ringing of metal as the blades struck one another.
"Hmm, an interesting weapon." Ami pointed her yari out in front of her. The two outer blades snapped shut, and she winced.
"Owiee! Get it off! Get it off!" Everyone turned to Usagi. She was madly shaking her right hand. Attached to one of her fingers was her weapon. Somehow, as she attempted to unfold her hankyu, she had caught her finger in it. The senshi and the cats hung their heads as for the third time giant sweat drops appeared on their heads. This time however, Kaosu joined them.
"Usagi!" Luna jumped off the bench and carefully approached Usagi. "Quit shaking your hand like that. You are going to hurt yourself."
"But it won't come off!" she wailed.
"Here, let me help you." In the matter of seconds, Makoto had freed Usagi's finger and unfolded the hankyu for her. "There you go."
"Thank you Makoto," Usagi had tears of happiness in her eyes as she hugged her friend. "I owe you."
Makoto shook her head. "It's no problem."
Right around this time, Kaosu was getting a belated bad feeling that somewhere, someone had royally screwed up on picking these girls as defenders of the Earth.
"Now, lets see." While Kaosu was distracted by his misgivings, Usagi searched around and found her quiver. She took an arrow and attempted to notch it. A glowing golden string appeared. She notched the arrow and stared intently at it. Now how did this work? It began to glow with a soft golden light. "Hey cool. Everyone, look at this!"
Everyone turned to her as she aimed her arrow across the small park.
"Usagi!" Kaosu yelled in panic. What was that girl doing now?!
"Ekkk!" Startled by his yell, she released the glowing arrow. Everyone was silent as they watched the energy arrow shoot out of the park and strike an abandoned building.
"Ah, ah, hah ha." A guilty look flashed across Usagi's face. "Oops." Blank faced, everyone turned to her. "Guess our armors work just fine . . . "
Slowly Kaosu lowered his face into his hands. No. This could not be happening. How could these girls fight Arago's Ma Sho . . . He froze in sudden realization. He lifted his head and once again gazed at the five girls before him. Usagi and Rei were once again arguing, this time about how careless Usagi was. If these girls were this dangerous in normal circumstances, then the Evil Empire was in for quite a battle.

*click*
Everyone in the room stared at the blank screen, with the exception of Arial who had once again buried her face in Shin's shoulder, laughing hysterically.
"I don't believe it," Shu muttered. "I don't wanna to believe it. And here I thought the Ranma one was bad." He shuddered in horror. "That one was unbelievable."
"Well Touma," Ryo turned to him. "I can't think of anything worse than having Usagi in my armor, what about you Touma? Touma?"
Touma was blankly staring at the TV screen. Seiji waved his hand in front of his face. "Touma? Anyone home?"
Touma blinked twice and turned to Seiji. "Sailor Moon?"
"He is in shock," Shin announced in surprise.
"Well what do you expect? Would you want Usagi in your armor? That is a disaster looking for a place to happen?"
"Well, it was interesting," Nasutei pointed out in a soft voice. "Highly unlikely, but interesting."
"S-so funny!" Arial gasped. She was instantly on the receiving end of three hostile glares.
Shin immediately put a protective arm around Arial. "Come on guys, it is not Arial's fault."
"No Shin," Shu slowly got to his feet, "it's not. You know something curious?" He turned to Ryo and Seiji. "He had the sanest people in both series in his armor. No purple-haired bimbos, no ultra blond wanna be models."
"No short tempered priestesses who can't handle swords," Ryo put in. "Or people who are afraid of tigers."
"Defiantly not someone who needs help to get from one room to another, or street tough girls." Seiji gave Ryo and Shu a level look. "I do believe I see some sort of favoritism here."
The other two nodded. Nasutei, sensing a one-sided pillow fight in the immediate future, decided it was a good time to catch up on her paperwork in her den. Jackie Chan wouldn't be going anywhere.
"Hey guys," Shin looked at his three friends in growing alarm. Each of them had grabbed a throw pillow in each hand. "Arial!" Shin hissed.
"Hmm?" Arial looked up, still laughing softly. She saw Ryo, Shu and Seiji approach with lifted pillows. "What is going on?!" she urgently asked Shin as they quickly vacated the love seat, grabbing pillows as they did so.
"Shin-Chan!" Shin hissed.
Arial didn't get a chance to have him elaborate as they were attacked by the others. Nasutei silently closed the door to her den, muffling the sounds of the pillow fight below. On the sofa, Touma slowly turned to his friends, then back at the TV. Who could have ever thought up such a story?
Sitting safely in front of her computer in the real world, Shin-Chan smiles softly as she reaches the end of yet another story.

THE END