Fears
A YYH/RK crossover
By Varon

Author's Notes:

Hi all. :) This isn't exactly a "holiday fic," but was written for my parents' 19th wedding anniversary. I just decided to post it because... well, *because*. XD It's a semi-crossover, between RK and YYH, with an attempt at establishing a relation between two women each series. ^^ Weird plot bunny, huh? Now that it's written, it thankfully went away. ^_~

:: words enclosed in these :: ~ thoughts, italicized words
* ~ a footnote below ^^
// words in here // ~ the letter Keiko's reading

Pairings: Yusuke & Keiko, Kenshin and Kaoru
Warnings: weird ancestry and melancholy reflection XD
Disclaimer: I own no one.

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The dancers, clothed in what was once impeccable white western costumes, twirled in perfect rhythm. The flawed timbre of "Blue Danube" sounded unusually hollow to her ears, but still the dancers kept on rotating about the small space endlessly, untiringly. When the waltz ended, Keiko Yukimura found herself twisting the handle of the old music box once more, staring at the small figures of a man holding a woman start up their magical, perpetual dance.

How she wished marriage were the same -- a smooth, serene dance by two (and only two) people, never getting tired of the steps and continuously intent on perfecting them. But a music box is all it is -- a thing that can never be fully applied in the harshness of reality.

::Typical me,:: Keiko reflected. ::Typical, cynical me -- criticizing the practicality of lifelong plans just when I'm on the brink of fulfilling them.::

But who hasn't entertained such doubts in the past -- who hasn't felt that sudden urge to consider other alternatives, to allow second thoughts to intrude the supposedly one track mind, when you're this close to achieving the one thing you felt so sure would be your ultimate dream? Even the best decision-makers encountered such difficulty when they were about to actualize their plans... didn't they?

::I'm a mess,:: Keiko thought resignedly, holding her head in her hands. ::Why am I doing this to myself? ::

She caught her reflection in the mirror and immediately straightened herself. She didn't want to ruin the almost two-hour make-over her mother and some of her girlfriends labored over. Her parents would have preferred a traditional wedding, but Keiko insisted that a Westernized, Christian-like wedding would be more sensible. Yusuke didn't care at all, so Keiko managed to get her way. Yukina-chan and Botan-chan had fussed over her gown, with Shizuru-neechan as the subdued critic. Keiko's mother did most of the work on her make-up and fixed her veil. Botan kept a steady stream of chatter, mostly about Yusuke and what a change it would probably be to get him into a tux. Shizuru reminded her not to laugh too hard.

Keiko now stared at herself in the mirror -- the picture of a perfect bride, as any onlooker would most likely think given the chance to see her like this. She had always been quite a looker, but today, she was incredibly stunning. As they say, all women are exquisite on their wedding day, and she was no exception.

Inside, however, she felt only turmoil.

"I love him," she whispered, "I always have." ::And I have never wanted anything more than to be with him forever... So why am I now practically backing away?::

"Because he's just as unpredictable now as when you were kids. Because he attracts danger like a magnet. Because he might not be willing to earn a decent living when he's got other things to attend to. Because he might leave you, given the opportunity to satisfy his sense of adventure, without a second thought."

::Oh, this is NOT helping.::

Her attention focused on the the black wooden box once again. It was a gift from her mother; Keiko's okaasan had said that it was given to her on her by her own mother on her wedding day, as well as her mother before her. She had no idea when this passing on of a sort-of family heirloom began, but judging from the box's only slightly battered condition, it couldn't been more than fifty or fifty-five years ago. All factors considered, the music box could still be regarded as a lovely piece of antique ornament.

But the beauty of the box did not lie on its appearance, as Keiko's mother explained. "You will gather power here, Keiko-chan," her okasaan had told her a little while ago, when she finished helping her daughter prepare herself for the wedding. "Fiddle with this music box a bit, and you'll find the real heirloom. This was created by one of the greater women of the Meiji Era, our ancestor Kamiya Kaoru*. What you discover will strengthen your mind, and heart. As it worked for all the generations of women before you."

::Yeah, right,:: Keiko thought wryly. ::The perfect marriage that these dancers represent bring nothing to me but dread and fear... for it would be unattainable. These figures symbolize what I would be missing. They bring more questions, not answers. What was mother talking about?::

In her wish to end her metal torment, she almost gave in to the desire to slam the cover of the music box shut. But remembering her mother's words, she obediently resisted. Instead, she examined the music box more carefully, and found that the stand on which the dancers were mounted could be lifted. Underneath was a small, faded brown envelope, with the words "For my daughter" scrawled on it. She reached inside it.

::A letter.:: Yellowed, tattered, and folded over many times. It looked as brittle as the pages of those rare books one may find in the library. Unfolding it with extreme care, Keiko began to read.




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// Marriage is a wonderful thing, don't you think, my child? And a mother waits for the moment, no matter how painful it is, for her daughter's wedding day -- and I am lucky to still be alive to witness it. But first, I'll let you in on a secret.

As much as I love my husband, deep down my greatest fear has always been to marry him. Yes, that sounds fairly illogical, considering that I love him with all my heart, and I would never want any man to take his place, but I can't deny that the trepidation is there.

Why should I be afraid, you might ask? Love conquers all -- doesn't it? and true enough, I believe it does. Considering the things we have been through -- events that have shaken up our lives to such a great extent that it could rival any strong, deadly earthquake -- the love we have for each other kept us going, kept our faith alive. It has seen us through the toughest times and it will continue to see us through, for as long as we live. Maybe even after death... but that's getting ahead of my point.

What is there to be afraid of? You see, my child, he had a dangerous steak in him. Yes, your shy, quiet, protective and caring father had a dark side to him I'm only too grateful not to see often. Oh yes, he had been scary -- he was, almost, possessed by the evil side each of us innately owns. Gone was the gentle man I knew; the one in his place knew only ruthlessness. It was a nightmare for me, so different from what I was used to... Believe me, I wouldn't want to see that transformation again.

Perhaps that was the greatest fear I held -- that no matter how determined he was to lead a peaceful, sword-free life, his past would always come and haunt him. That fate would always find a loophole in the tapestry they wove of our lives, and cover it up with violence. I had been afraid that his previous enemies -- if ever he had any more left, Kami-sama forbid -- would find a way to bring back the swordsman that he was. How many more people would seek revenge against the Hittokiri your father had left behind? And I had been all-too afraid to gain another opportunity to see the Battousai in action. That was the last thing I'd want as his wife, as the woman he sleeps with, he confides in with, he IS with, every second of every day.

But perhaps I had been greatly afraid of the day when I would one day lose him... I dread the day when he would be taken away from me, when I would wake up and he wouldn't be by my side. Or even worse, what if Death didn't reckon, but Insensitivity instead? What if I wake up one morning and I wouldn't recognize him anymore -- what if some drastic change took over him overnight? A stupid thought, but it was a possibility.

But above all this, I think I was afraid to commit. I was afraid to love him more than I already do, to get myself deeper into my involvement with him than I already am. Because one day... he might just be gone and I wouldn't be able to stand another goodbye.

But my daughter, as you know, I've married him nonetheless. All my fears are secondary to the enormous feelings I have for him... I look into his eyes and everything else seemed unimportant. In the depths of his lavender orbs held promises of faithfulness, of unchanging ways, of familiar roads we would happily journey on.

I love Kenshin Himura with all my being, and I know he loves me the same. On your wedding day today, my only daughter, I pray that you get rid of all your doubts. I wish you only happiness -- the same I have experienced wit your father. May love lead you the path towards ultimate joy.

Your family loves you and will always be here for you when you need us.

~Kaasan //



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Keiko had to wipe away the tears from her cheeks. The letter had hit so close to home -- Yusuke's unbelievable ancestry, the dark side he owned, like the man Kamiya Kaoru loved enough to fear to lose. I feel the same for Yusuke, Keiko thought. But his boyish recklessness, his immaturity, his carefree attitude toward the real world --

:: Free your mind from all doubts, child. ::

The letter... the letter spoke. Keiko could have sworn it was Kamiya Kaoru who had uttered those words into her consciousness.

:: Love conquers all --

It's now your turn to prove it. ::

"It's time, Keiko."

As if on cue, a knock on the door signaled that her hour of preparation was over. Keiko hurriedly touched up her mascara, arranged her veil, and stood up.

Her marriage would probably never be one music box dance, but she was finally ready.

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Author's notes:

*Told you this relation was far-fetched. XD But hey, anything could happen, ne? ^.^ Feedback would be nice.